I've been sewing!

HORRAY! I have been spending the past couple of days sewing some new stuff to add to my long forgotten ETSY store and am so pumped to show them off! I hopefully will be doing more throughout this coming week, and wouldn't it be cool if I actually sold something to help pay for all these dang medical bills? geeze. here is a preview:

Day 23 of Herniated Disc Update

I had my second specialist appointment today. The MRI has been read, and yes, I have a herniated disc-- its the last disc in my spine. As far as herniated discs go its "large", my doc said. He also did a nerve test to make sure my muscles in my left leg (where the extreme sciatica pain is) weren't degenerating, and they aren't, which is good. If they were I'd have to have surgery right away. So, the route for treatment we're taking now is to get Cortisone shots and start the "IDD" table, which is like a better form of traction. I should start on the IDD table by the end of this week or first part of next week.

The biggest snag we're running into is that the hospital I have my insurance through only lets the anesthesiologist do the shots, and the waiting list is THREE WEEKS OUT! OMG! Soooo, we sorta told the doc that that is ridiculous (he agrees, but its a Cox hospital legal thing that he can't do anything about) and he said that he would try to pull some strings for me after he gets done seeing patients today at 3. I am going to call tomorrow to see when he set up an appointment for. That shot I hear is usually very helpful for pain like this, i just wish I could get it NOW, or like, THREE WEEKS AGO! Grrr. I am thinking of writing a letter to the hospital saying how bad of patient care that is, given that I've been in extreme pain for three weeks and the only saving grace I have isn't available for another three.

In other news, I had my sister go to Target to get shirts for me to do applique sewing onto. I'm hoping that I get some inspiration to start doing that for fun instead of just lying here staring at my ceiling. I really should be working more on that paper that's due in August, but I have so much time on my hands and am so "down" from all of this its hard to get motivated to do something I don't want to do when I can't do anything that I want to do. does that make sense? Oh yeah, and I didn't win that decor8 contest which made me sad, but it was a longshot anyway. I could have really used some new fabric and paper to inspire me. I guess I'll just have to get creative with what I've got. (I feel like i've been doing A lot of that lately though).

Plate search

So, I am a clutzy mess which means I drop things occasionally (see below post for a sad example). Most of the plates that my husband and I received as wedding presents have broken because I have dropped them, so I have decided to replace them with a random assortment of plates.

At first I thought I would just want plates that are either red or white with red in it... but then after looking on countless websites I haven't had the best luck. So I have decided to go with a new eclectic theme to fit in with my kitchen ware--- white dinner plates with either red, light green, or tealish-tiffany blue designs on them. I am going to start with the needed plates first, then hopefully start to collect bowls and dessert plates as well. Here are some examples:

Ikea Plates:


Anthropologie Plates:


Pier1 plate:

frustration (Day 21 of herniated disc post)

So throughout this whole thing I've tried to just be okay with the circumstances and accept that I don't get to do everything I want to do. For the most part I think I've done fairly well.

At the moment though, not so much...

I am so sick of not being able to get anything for myself, feed myself, do anything productive, and do anything I enjoy doing, like tending to the garden or my pretty flowers outside. Grrrr! About 15 minutes ago I attempted to fill up the bird feeder I strategically placed outside my bedroom window and ended up dropping the entire bag of birdseed on the ground, spilling all of its contents at my feet. I immediately started bawling because I can't bend over to clean up a mess like that. I calmed myself down, but not before I asked Jeff through my tears to clean it up and huffed and puffed my way through the pain to cut some flowers to fill my new hanging vases in my living room. These ascetic sort of things I love to have around and they make me so happy, especially now, but I can't do them very well when I am in pain and its so frustrating.

Tuesday's doctor's appointment cannot come soon enough. Oh please Lord, I pray that this pain subsides so I can have my life back.

For Megan (late night and I can't sleep quick post)

My friend Megan was talking today about Urban Outfitters and how expensive it is. I thought I'd check out the sales online (since we don't have the store here-- I vote we get one in the new college station!) to see what I thought... I tried to find the stuff I thought was the coolest from U.O. and post them... What do you think?
Lux Wisteria Top: $19.99
Granny Satchel in Stone: $29.99
Ethereal Necklace: $19.99
Swedish Flower Printed Rug: $19.99 (I actually bought this one but had to take it back b/c it was a bit out of place in the room I wanted it for.
Made by Elves Evan Oxford: $39.99 (I WANT!)

Day 19 of herniated disc

Updates:
Today I went to go to the pool with a friend I rarely see. It was great to catch up and talk. I'm getting TAN people.

I am still crossing my fingers at the possibility of winning the decor8 inspiration contest where I'd win tons of amazing fabric and cool stationary paper. Ohh, just the thought of winning gets my sewing gears turning.
Speaking of, I have appliqued vintage fabric onto two shirts in this past week. One for my hubby and one for my brother-in-law. I am also currently working on sewing the ends of the fabulous bathmat I bought from CB2 that was too big for our tiny bathroom. I can hand-sew from my bed in the lying down position, which has helped me mentally to handle all of this... it gives me something to do that I love. I tried to post pics I took but they were awful, I didn't have enough stamina to take a good shot so I'll post them later when I can get my husband to.

Also, I started on my research paper (well, barely) yesterday. That was a very good thing. Starting I think can be the hardest part on big projects like that.

Anyway, continue to stop by and check on me. I love hearing people tell me they read my facebook notes or my blog. It makes me feel more connected to the world since all I can do is lie in this bed.

Oh, and PS: here are some pics from the other night when Mara brought her dog Leia over (the king charles) and a little miniature yorkie she's dog sitting named Peanut.

Sometimes...

I have moments when I've been lying down for a while and forget that getting up hurts. Then I get up and I remember. That's all for today.

Day 17 of herniated disc

So... the MRI machine is weird. Very,very strange situation-- to be in a long tube and have crazy machine noises going on REALLY LOUDLY around you for 25 minutes. I felt like I was in some trippy techno dream or something.
I am getting sick of doctor's appointments at this point. I've been every day this week and am paying dearly for it in pain. My muscles are crazy tight and I've been feeling pain just like I was those first few days, which is rather disheartening. I don't have another appointment scheduled until next Tuesday to start treatments with my new specialist doctor, which is TOO STINKIN' LONG, so I am calling tomorrow to see if there are any cancellations or if my Doc can fit me in tomorrow or the next day. Cross those fingers with me. I want to start getting better NOW.

I thought I'd post a few pics of what my problem looks like:

Day 16 of herniated disc update

So I went to see the spine specialist today. It was sort of a wake-up call to how severe this whole thing is, and also a confirmation of how much pain i am still in. He ordered me an MRI tomorrow, and I have another appointment with him next Tuesday (which sucks, because I still will be in all this pain when I am up and around for at least another week). At that appointment they are going to do a nerve test and hopefully give me a Cortisone shot so I can get rid of some of the pain. After that they will probably start treatments on this traction-type machine called an IDD that deals with discs and such. If that doesn't help me heal and I am still in a lot of pain, then he said I may end up needing surgery. My hopes of getting a shot and all of this being a bad dream sorta slithered out the window at that point. I was also supposed to go to Colorado with the Houghton family mid-August, which looks like it won't be happening because I don't have any vacation or sick time left to take and will start taking leave-without-pay next week... not to mention all of these appointments and tests are starting to add up financially.

Anyway, I am sorta down today. I was going to go to the pool after my appointment, but its been rainy outside, so I'm stuck in my room again with no one home and no ability to do anything that requires me to move. boo.

Hopefully tomorrow will be a better day.

I had a good idea...

So I saw this about a month ago but thought I'd comment about it. Last year I got these great placemats from a flea market and decided to make pillows out of them:



Then I notice that Urban Outfitters apprarently has copied my brilliance. Guess I should have sold the idea to them a year ago and could have made the big bucks. Oh well.

Day 15 of herniated disc

Updates:

Today I went to the doctor. It was a very long afternoon of lots of movement, which hurt a ton, but I believe we made some progress (hopefully). I got referred to a spine specialist who will most likely do Cortisone (is that the term?) shots in my back to relieve the Sciatica I am experiencing. Hopefully I'll get into them by this week so I can start back to work and school and get my muscle tone built back up through PT. My X-Ray didn't show any arthritis, but did show a bit of a curve in my spine.

I'm still feeling about the same as I have been-- only able to walk or sit for a few minutes before the pain starts getting really bad. Today's excursions already have me worn out, and I still have a PT appointment at 6 tonight...

Mentally I'm doing ok at the moment. Just trying to stay positive and busy.

Comment if you stop by to check on me. Mucho Love.

Dr Horrible

Please watch this: Dr. Horrible's Sing Along Blog

Decor8 contest

Everyone cross your fingers for me... Decor 8 is hosting a contest for someone to win amazing paper stacks and fabric stacks. Do you KNOW what I could do with all of that right now?!? I am laying flat on my back for most of my life these days and would LOVE to be able to hand-sew more items with all this time I have, I just cannot go out and buy fabric because I'm bedridden for the most part. There have already been, like, 400 people who have entered, so I am setting my hopes high, but what a blessing that would be for me in this depressing situation of boredom.

ETSY favorties

I originally set out this morning to find some folders I can take with me to classes in the fall. I always need something to put my handouts in, and cannot find any folders outside of Wally-World or Target. There aren't any online! I veered my search to Etsy and started finding all sorts of fun shops and items I thought I'd highlight here.

These are the closest I got to finding folders with pockets in them. If I cannot find what I'm really looking for these may be a good option from Lemon Tree Studio . I mean, Amy Butler paper? Who can go wrong? From looking at Miss Lemon's blog, she may love Owls more than I do


The second is from a pottery maker I stumbled upon this morning called VesselsandWares. What a wonderful, pretty site.

This site, called Olive Vintage, I came across with a bunch of vintage finds. I love this olive oil and vinegar duel bottle, such a neat design!

Finally, I love anything by Pego:

Day 12 of herniated disc

I've been super excited about my laid-up online purchases coming in yesterday and today, but some of them were disappointments. The CB2 bath matt I bought is too big and I'm thinking about cutting it in half and making two out of the one. I also am not sure about the rug I bought from U.O.-- it may be a bit too "busy" for the sun-room. Of course I wasn't able to stand long enough in the room to get a good look due to the pain I was feeling, so yeah... that whole thing has diminished the joy I thought I would get out of receiving my purchases. To be honest, I'm starting to feel a bit depressed. I'm very frustrated that I still cannot get up for longer than a couple of minutes without extreme pain. I just want to do something. Anything. Even enjoying a shower would be nice. Patience, patience.

day 11 of herniated disc updates

What I have been doing today: reading The Shack and my NYLON magazine, went to the pool with Jeff's bro Scott (he's visiting for 10 days), and watched So You Think You Can Dance with Jenn.
Visitors today: my sister (yesterday: my dad, Donna and Debbie from Evangel, and Mara with her cute dog Leia)
Work status: keeping up on projects for Evangel and Burrell via email.
Research project due in August: Still haven't started
Longest time I was up today walking: 10 minutes.
Number of bottles of Vicodin I have gone through: 3
Date of next Doctor's appointment and (hopefully) an MRI: Monday morning
Showered? yes (thankfully)
Number of times I cried today: 0. (yessss! mental state improved!)
Online purchases: 0. I'm out of money to spend :-(
Number of frozen peas or corn bags I went through to ice my back: 3
Times a cuss word slipped out of my mouth because I was in pain: 0
Times I've called into the living room: "JEFF...": countless

Anyway, sorry to disappoint with not many updates today or pictures. I'll try to do better tomorrow... I should be getting in several packages of my online purchases and hopefully will do some good picture posts with that.

If you stop by, leave a comment. I'd like to know who's checking on me. :-)

Mama Mia! Madness

I just clicked on Fugly's website and found a polethora of Mama Mia advertising. Someone should Fug the Fug girls for allowing this to happen! Their post was even from the priemer of the movie, and when it loaded I heard a bit of that STUPID SONG THAT DOESN'T GO OUT OF MY HEAD. MAKE IT STOP!

day 10 of herniated disc

So, today won't be as much a picture post but more of a rambling "what I'm learning through all this" post (again). Yesterday I reported that I went to the pool for some much needed out-of-my-room time and vitamin D for my mental health. I was feeling so good yesterday. So good. After we got back I took a much needed shower, then Jeff and I enjoyed some Millies salads thanks to his Mommy paying for us to have an anniversary dinner. (2 years-- go us!) Then Jeff's little Bro Scott came into town around 9ish. He's staying here with us for the next 10 days...
So because I was doing so well I started to feel like I should be doing more. I did some laundry, watered the plants, etc. I would get up for 10 minutes, do some chores, get back down for 10 minutes, repeat. Today I'm not feeling as great I think because I might have been pushing it a bit too much last night. I'm just getting so sick of laying here and asking everyone to do everything for me. Its hard. I mean, I just so want to be able to go outside and be a human again. But the Lord (I said "The Lord" I sound so evangelistic) is teaching me to stop trying to do everything on my own. I keep getting his kick right in my rear, literally, every time I think I can do it alone without him.
So I ask, those of you who pray, be praying that what God is teaching me right now sticks. He's doing it for a reason, I know. I needed it. I was just so ragged and burned out and not trusting Him... I just pray that I can learn more about letting go a bit and giving him control.
K, enough of that stuff, I'm gonna look through some design websites and enjoy myself for a while.

I laid in the pool, not on my bed

Today was a WONDERFUL day. Probably one of the best I've had in a long time. My sister was off work so she took me to my friend Mara's parent's pool. It felt amazing. So good to be out of my room for the first time in 9 days (outside of the doctor's office or PT). Too bad my new swimsuit didn't come in time. I bet I'll be there several more times before this whole thing gets better. Here are pics:

day 9 of herniated disc morning shots

More urban outfitters model poses (day 3 without a shower)
bloomies on my new patio furniture
morris jumping on me
lucy jumping on me
Here are some pics of when I just woke up from a muscle-relaxer coma. I needed to let the doggies in to feed them so I grabbed my camera to capture the experience. Updates: getting up didn't hurt as bad as when I had to let the doggies out at 6:30 this morning. Probably because I brought a new ice pack with me to lay on immediately. Time I was up: 4 minutes. Later today: Pool pics!

day 8 of herniated disc picture post

Jeff had a good idea-- since I'm so bored and can't get up without wanting to punch someone that I should keep the camera by my bed and take pictures daily to put on here as photo posts of the excitements of my day.

Here are some pics of just the past hour. First is Jeff's shirt covered in Sammie hair after he petted him for five minutes, second is pics of my doggies keeping me company, and third is how I look all ratty and un-showered. Hey, I'd fit right in as a Urban Outfitters Model!

U.O. disappointment

I just got the new Urban Outfitters early Fall catalog and i was quite disappointed! Most of the time I get the catalog I know there are going to be a few things in there that are quite edgy and too grungy for me, but this time EVERYTHING in there is uber grunge. Do we really have to go back there to that sad, sad, state of ratty clothes, drab colors, and look like we haven't showered in several weeks in order to be fashionable? Here are some of the looks from the catalog:

I sort of like the long cardigan here, but don't like how it looks like she's worn it five days in a row.

Yuck! Plaid!


I like some of the boots, but check out the girl in the meshy-whatever- top. ick.


oh, and to add to this as an afterthought, I just saw on fugly that MK Olsen is looking like a shower is in order:

Mama Mia!

I don't know about you, but I am sick of hearing or seeing something about Mama Mia every time I turn on the TV or am on the Internet. That dang song gets into my head and I HATE it. Blech!

Shopping in bed

I love online shopping. Well, I'd rather go to the store, but I obviously cannot at the moment. My mom and dad gave me a present today: 100 bones to shop online for whatever I want. Wanna see what I bought???

First thing: a new swimmie. Jeff and I went to Six Flags and walked around the waterpark in our skibbies and I was horrified at the feeling of nakedness in my bikini and just wanted to cover up... quickly. I thought this was very cute and reasonable.

This bag is from Target. I've had my eye on it for several months and then saw it online today for 8 BUCKS! Score!

This rug rocks! We could use a bigger one for the sunroom for when the doggies track in muddy-ness.

One red plate from UO. I know it sounds silly, but I am going to start collecting red plates for my kitchen because i've broken most of mine... mixing and matching means I won't have to worry about replacing the whole set!

From CB2 I got those teardrop hanging vases I showed pics of in a previous post, a new bathmat (exciting I know), and this cool planter on sale. (the green striped one)

There are more things like clothes, but if I went through everything you'd get bored fast.

I'm glad this has kept me a bit sane today since my sister and amazing friends all went to KC to see Feist. I had a ticket but ended up selling it to another friend so she could go in my place. They went to church today, ate at First Watch (a GREAT brunch spot), went shopping, and then saw Feist at the Starlight. I was really sad to miss out, but had the shopping to distract me which was nice. My mom came over for most of the afternoon too which was great. We had some great conversations and she did some of my housework for me, like sweep the ridiculous amounts of grass off my sidewalk and patio from when Jeff mowed yesterday.

Anyway, So far it seems like I'm inching my way to getting better, but I'm not nearly there yet. We timed how long I was able to be up today and I topped off at 13 minutes. Pretty exciting. It hurt like hell getting back into bed after that though.

7 days disabled and counting...

Well, folks, this isn't healing fast. at all. Here are my updates in case you're interested:
1) The pain:
Its miserable. When I stand up and move around I can only do so for about 5 minutes then I have to get back in bed because my sciatica flares up and I can't walk. My left foot even goes numb. I've been going to PT every day this past week. I shower only every other day and have to get my sister or my husband to dress me.

2) PT: I love my physical therapist. She's such a fun girl (my hubbies' age) and is great to joke around with.

3) My family and friends: They've been amazing. AMAZING! I have visitors stop by every few hours to get me food and give me good conversation. I've felt so blessed by how each person I truly care about loves me and takes care of me in their own way...

which leads me to the supernatural part of this all. God is really using this to heal me mentally, which sounds sort of strange. I am felling "alive" for the first time in a long time... all I've had time to focus on is classes and homework and what needs to be done next, I've truly ignored myself, my needs, and most importantly the dependence I MUST have on God to be who he's truly made me to be. Through this experience I am having to trust Him SO MUCH (I had to drop two classes this month and probably push back my graduation date) and give up control on ALL things. I'm learning what a control freak I actually am and am having to give that up on just the simplest things like how my medication is arranged on the bed next to me. I'm seeing myself through this mirror of honesty that I haven't been able to use because of all the busy-ness and stress in my life... I am truly blessed, however funny it may sound, to be in this condition so that I can remember what its like to be dependent upon my God.

So there you have it. I for sure have not been this insightful every day while in this condition. There has been a lot of crying and pain and some depression, but I am trying to let go. Let go and let the cards fall where they may.

Oh, and PS, check out my facebook pics if you want to see some hilarity with me not being a showered, clean michelle. Its pretty funny.

New Beck Album

Just got the new Beck Album for a b-day present for my dad... he loves my sister and my's taste in music, which is lots of fun. We get him a CD and right away are able to download them.

I have each of Beck's albums and am always so impressed with each one he puts out. I loved Guero and The Information in the last couple of years... this one, Modern Guilt, seems a bit more loose, grittier, and melower, and I'm loving it so far. Its nice to have some good new music to listen to when you can't move. Here's the cover, find it at your local CD Warehouse or purchase on ITUNES. can't tell you what songs are my faves at the moment, they sort of all run together. Enjoy!